Je T'adore

pause for a prayer

2009-10-10T19:57:00.004+08:00

Dear Lord, We fervently pray that our nation will be spared from another threatening typhoon. Our suffering people have not recovered from Ondoy's wrath. Please prevent Pepeng and other typhoons from hitting any of our islands. Save us from further calamities by embracing our country with your protective grace and merciful blessings. We also pray for all those who have lost their lives that they may find their home in your kingdom. Mother Mary, we humbly ask for your intercession that we and our families be safe from all these afflictions. In Jesus's most holy name, we all pray, Amen.

At the same time, we would like to thank the lord for keeping us safe here in singapore. having the luxury not to experience these types of disasters, we are blessed. we come home everyday to our families while others out there have no families. the pain they feel is immense and the wound they would bear is deep. let us all pour in our prayers for them.

UGH.

2009-06-29T20:10:00.001+08:00

some things just NEVER change.
my goodness.

remenisce

2009-06-22T18:48:00.003+08:00

i was on top of the world at one moment
the next i was rock bottom.
i never expected this to happen, but somehow it did
sitting alone in my room thinking abt the what ifs
and the could haves.
it wasnt worth it, i see it all now.
prayers was all i could give
i hoped for a silver lining
i hoped for the pain to go
then i saw a shimmer of light
a light that came from a star(*winks)
the tears stopped flowing and nightmares disappeared
colours filled every corner
i knew i could find that comfort from you
although you might not be perfect, that's not what i see
the impurities dont chase me away
it draws closer to you.
i never wanna look back
im happy with what i am now
they were right i'd be better this way
i've forgiven and forgotten.

COMFORT.

2009-06-22T18:29:00.003+08:00

HAAAPPPPYY FAAATTHHEERR'S DAAAY DAD! :Dwell well, this man right here is my all extremely fashionable, YOUNG(naaaks) father. haha. if you would describe how my father makes an impact in my life? probably in every component you can name. From girls to studies, LAHAT talaga. that's why i dont know what i'd do without him. really, i dont know where i'd stand without my father by my side.

the thing that i love about my father so dearly is that he leads with superb example. he knows EXACTLY what to say. he knows how to make me feel guilty, better and even angry. haha. hmm.. i'd share one experience. it was weeks after valentines day and i was feeling shit due to circumstances i dont wna mention and for the first time in a long time, i seeked my father's comfort. i just wanted to hear him scold me and tell me to stop crying. i wanted him to tell me that everything was gna be okay.

my father is everything you say he would be, he can be really caring and loving, he can be really drunk(and funny), he is also very easy to get along with. he's also a spiritual figure to me.

so daddy, this post is dedicated truly for you. i love you very much and i want you to know that although sometimes i neglect you and this family, i never forget. you'll always be my inspiration and my strength. i want you to know that because of you and mom, i am what i am right now. even this post alone cant express the gratitude i wanna give to you both.

happy fathers day again dad! (:

PICTURES

2009-05-08T13:42:00.003+08:00

BestFriend Reggy and me!!

Isn't She an angel? my cousin, Eli.

Haha?

Josh and Me

Mama and me.

My trip to malaysia was AWESOMME. we had practically our(my brothers and i) own apartment! haha. so cool. a few pics of the trip and random ones!! (:

lazy lazy

2009-04-18T21:46:00.002+08:00

lazy lazy. as said in the title. haha. GOSH, tmr i gotta do easter lesson! just wanna get it over and done with ugh. LORD GOD, MAY I NOT SAY SHIT TMR! haha. anyway, things have gone raelly well for me. like really really well. haha. hmmm, lets see. i've never been happier ever since that and im proud. (: good, great, awesome? doesn't matter. all i know is im going to the right direction! okay okay, what happened today? nothing much really. just went to st anthony's church to get donations for blue ribbon project or smth. oh and my oh my was SOMEBODY all purple and yes, you've guessed it. petite and LOVELY. hahaha.

my oh my, isnt it freaking humid? argh! so mainit! irritating really. i wont be surprised if the number of ppl suffering from heat stroke increases. but TOUCH WOOD! well, maybe its what we call GLOBAL WARMING! please! start recylcing already!

gotta go. gotta review on what the heck to teach tmr. MAN. haha.

one day

2009-03-17T19:04:00.002+08:00

hey! i kinda feel a lil guilty cos i have friends that actually blog about the whole camp and i was just there to blog briefly. so here i am again to blog entirely about confirmation camp. so here i go.

Day 1:

so lets see, i went home, totally not excited about the camp, lazed around for hours and only started packing at 5.30pm. amazingly, i lazed around even more. haha. so conclusion? yes, i was late. arrived at SAPS at 7.30pm. (camp starts at 7) and i saw Adriel and i walked with together with him in. went to check in and group 4 was my destiny. well, not really excited cos i wanted group 2, reg's group or kat's group. my group only had Ivan, which im no even close. but heck, we played speed dating where i speed dated kellee, joan, carol and katt. oh and my facils were francis and laura. so played dog and bone and it wasnt really fun. haha, after which, we went into the AVA room and that was where we shared about the holy spirit and confirmation etc. i shared honestly about my opinions. haha. then we went for night walk and the only thing we could solve was the mr queen puzzle. but the answer was quite smart actually. so yeahh. so we had supper, like almost expired biscuits and butter/peanut butter. cam whored a lil with michi, kat and reggy. dom, gabe and JT came and we played this game were the forfeit was between 2 ppl where one of them has to lick of the butter/peanut butter off the other's finger. haha, reg and gabe owe us! haha. then after that, pressed the snooze button.

Day 2:

day 2 was the most memorial day of the camp, and it was a day i will never ever forget for the rest of my life. had P&W in the morning and as usual, AWESOME. then we had this session where we had to act out skits from various distractions? that distracts us from growing our faith with god. my group had to do FEAR. almost to destined huh? haha, and surely enough, we did a skit.(prolly gna post the skit next time i blog) alot of ppl loved it and my group had serious fun. after that, we prepared to go to xiao guilin. we had to walk there fyi, but i didnt mind one bit. walked with kat, rizal, natalie and few others. wen we reached the place, we ate our lunch there and my group did sharing again. we had to find out what powers i had and it was EXPERTISE. kinda cool eh? haha, thank you lord! (: my group is obsessed with pics i tell you. haha. they took aot of jump shots and just shots and group photos. haha. went to 7/11 before walking back to SAPS. crapped back with my friends and new friends. when we reached the sch, we played a mini soccer match in the classroom. dont get me wrong, it was FUNN! haha. we eventually son 6-2. haha. went up to the AVA room and we went to have a P&W session i think? but i know later that night, they prepared us for reconcilliation.(sp?) had P&W, songs were extremely great. i opened my heart and let the holy spirit just rush through me. i went to talk to kat and reg and all of a sudden, reg cried, obviously i comforted them and i just kept thanking them. comforted natalie and a random girl too. when i was ready for confession, i went to line up. while waiting, many things dwelled in my head. and when i finally got to the priest, i released EVERTHING. i told him everything. and when i listened to him talk, i just broke down, cos i just felt an extreme comfortness and when i said thank you the priest, he said. "your welcome, i will pray for you." and i cried evenmore after that. i felt extremely light and i was overjoyed. i was just all smiles. :D then we got stuck in the room cos smth was up and we got locked up till 12 plus. we couldnt bath cos they restricted us to go to the first floor. then when we got the news that we could bath, we dashed to the toilet. hahaha. chilled out with kat and reg, then went to canteen where kat deliberately spilled her milo on her shirt. hahaha. then went to play a game with rizal, thaddeus,chelsea,amanda,mel kam and some other girl. lights out was 2.30 but i slept arnd 3 smth. my goodness, i cannot forget this one. i was abt to sleep when suddenly, JT said sorry! hahahaha. and i was like "john, the heck aare you talking about" and there was no ans. haha, i figured he was sleep talking. hahaa. shane and nicholas S heard him too. hahahaha. then it was lights out for me.

Day 3:

this was the last and final day. i was kinda disappointed really. cos at the back of my head, i knew it was gna finish. sighh. so ya, i woke up at 7.10am. yeah i know, late. haha so i didnt bath, since i alr bathed at night. went to AVA room and sang praises to the lord! haha. then we had to go to our respective PA groups. Junior cats did a skit and we presented out proposals. fun, fun, fun. then we went to the canteen and i ate with dom, mich and germaine. it was funny cos we were making fun of each other. and germaine was asking me many Qs. haha. so after i finished my food, i had pieces of meat stuck between my teeth. so what a normal person with a normal reaction would do is to take is out. but it seemed so funny to germaine and she laughed at me really hard. well, all of them did. haha. retarded really. haha. after that, i went to bath with dom(separated cubicles) haha. did area cleaning then it rained really heavily. we had to do some affirmation thing and was supposed to have mass. but father couldnt make it cos of the rain and the drive way was blocked by a fallen tree. oh well. :/ after one last P&W, took photos and went home.

Kat, i would thank god so much for sending such a wonderful friend like you to me. oh how blessed i feel really. you never gave up on me, i've made plenty of mistakes, but you never stopped believing in me. your so wonderful in so many ways and i promise that ill be here anytime you need anything. especially if you need it in a guys perspective. i love you soo much pare! ((:

Reg, another fantastic friend of mine. 11 years and counting. although i never really got close to you in primary sch, im so glad i realised how a wonderful person you are. you never fail to be there when i acually need somebody to lean on. our friendship wont ever end. i loveee you parree! (: haha.

Nat, Amanda and others, im just so glad to have watch ya'll grow your faith in god into new levels. continue letting god be the centre of you respective lives. remember, LOVE is the greatest miracle. cos LOVE is GOD. (:

After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t always mean security.

And you begin to learn
That kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow’s ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers

And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are really strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every good bye you learn.

Veronica A. Shoffstall

beautiful isnt it? compliments to Orbeta.(:

Power Through HIS Spririt.

power through HIS spirit

2009-03-15T19:24:00.004+08:00

HEYYYY!!! i just came back from CONFIRMATION CAMP! one word to describe it? BEYOND AWESOME, you see? you cant summarise the camp by only one word. haha. well, it was amazing for me because i got what i wanted. and i realised that god has gave me gifts. and furthermore, i went in the camp as a broken being, now i feel that the lord has made me whole. im am so thankful for the for everything. i never will once regret going to camp. i bonded with quite a number of friends. and i totally feel like a new person. wrong doings have been made right and right doings have been affirmed. i amm just sooooo happy right now, there's no word to explain this. im in gear 6 for moving on. full speed ahead! haha. for all those who feel lonely, dont ever feel lonely. your never alone. NEVER.

As for Kat and Reg( one of the most wonderful friends i ever had), they've grown. and im so glad that i was there to experience it. i realised that the work of god is just so amazing. he gave us a powerful power. that's freewill. that's why we must make mistakes. and it is only through mistakes that we grow and become even stronger. its only through mistakes, that we learn. so i urge all the others who need companionship, pray. and those who have companionship. pray too. the time will come and we will realise how hard it is to stand up when we fall, esp when we fall very hard. the only thing that matters after that is how we stand up and walk again.

life is long, be patient. that's what god told me. (: I LOVE GOD! hahaha. and im extremely thankful.

enough.

2009-03-06T19:00:00.004+08:00

january was my last post. WOW. haha. almost deleted my blog. well, many things have been happening lately. wait, check that, more like shit happening. things that happened seemed to have changed my life completely. my perception of everything just overturned. give you words to summarise what i went through? ha, VERY SIMPLE. disappointment(EXTREMELY), anger, pain and i can never forget this one, betrayal. oh gosh, god knows how much im trying to cope with everything. ): but i know im strong and i know that this is all not worth it. i repeat, NOT WORTH IT. seriously, im not afraid. cos i know i did not do anything wrong and i have every right to stand up for myself. fine, i know i've made my mistakes. i left for inappropriate reasons. but hey, at least i cared enough to leave okay? i knew things would just get worse if i didnt do it sooner. my feelings werent the same at that time and i know i was wrong to leave. but judging from everything, i was wrong to come back. and from deep down my heart, i regret my actions. my hopes were just raised even higher, resulting it a more heavier fall. valentines day? WOW, UNBELIEVABLE. i took what the lord is telling me in another way, i took it at a more positive light. how much i wish i didnt, but god is good. he didnt want me to go on with my plan. cos that was what he didnt want for me.

know what? enough about that, its just giving me unnecessary thoughts. well, i know id be okay. id be happier in fact, without whatever i use to have. im free and im loving it. haha. im not ready for anything right now, but i know ill learn again. and this time, i know what to give. even though i have nothing left, i know id get it grow again, this time even stronger. (: so im gonna make an official announcement. lets close the book cos I AM GONNA MOVE ON! YEAAAAHH! promise. G (:

a soul set free,

2009-01-22T22:16:00.005+08:00

/edited

hey, i know i've never posted since like forever. so i now take this chance to post for a special someone. who, not just by me, would be dearly missed. Renato Mesina Magpantay Sr. My grandfather. He was the one who took care of me for 3 years before i came to singapore. i was young then and i never really remember anything. but how i wish i could. when i went back home, i saw him. he was lying in the coffin.. he was at peace. everybody told me that i was his favourite grandchild. he even got pissed with my parents because they brought me along to singapore instead of leaving me with him. i feel bad because i never really got to thank him or even appreciate him. but i know he is a man who has a heart of a lion. The pain we felt was nothing compared to the pain he felt. I always prayed for him, we all did. I never expected him to leave just like that. It was all so sudden. he suffered more than i've ever imagined. So at least i have a reason to be thankful that he's no longer in pain.

ill never forget him, when i grow old, im gonna tell my grandchildren about him. so with that, i dedicate this poem to him, this is really touching.

God looked around His garden and found an empty place.
He then looked down upon the earth and saw your tired face.
He put His arms around you and lifted you to rest.
God's garden must be beautiful. He only takes the best.

He knew that you were suffering. He knew you were in pain.
He knew that you would never get well on earth again.
He saw the road getting rough and the hills were hard to climb.
So He closed your weary eyelids and whispered, "Peace be thine".

It broke our hearts to lose you but you didn't go alone.
Part of us went with you the day God took you home.
If tears could build a stairway and heartaches make a lane,
We'd walk a path to heaven to be with you again.

In Loving Memory,

Renato Mesina Magpantay Sr
January 10 1939 - January 10 2009

We all love you Tatay. Always.

paano na kaya.

2008-10-11T13:41:00.002+08:00

goodness me, this week's been a really hectic week. it was the end-of-years. well, last paper is on monday. so yeah. and SLACK TIME BABEH! haha. well really, trust me when i say it has been hectic for me. not just for the my studies(screwed (A) maths nicely) but from my life itself too. first, i went to timothy's place. i swear i NEVER should have done that. then, the next day. someone started to pretend that person knew everything. and decided to go and comprehend me. i said something that i was just trying to be playful about and people started to think that i was being serious. pathetic. really really pathetic. then one of the closest person in my life too started to all sad and stuff. i dont even know why she became affected. all i wanted was some time alone. that was all.

for now, nobody seems like they understand me. cos some are busy building on their ego while others are busy spreading shit.

its so hard to trust people nowadays. sometimes you think you can trust them just because you entered their house. but no way. and plus, everyone keeps making it look like its a big deal. everything's so complicated now really. sigh, not being emo. just being really really frustrated by all this. at least i got a handful who still understands me.

together

2008-09-19T20:27:00.002+08:00

well, again, i survived a week that didnt really go into my favour. quite a few happened this week, i learned that ppl, even those that you are close with, can just turn their backs on you and just literally stab you in the back. man, its so disappointing. oh, speaking of disappointment, alot of other bullshits are happening too. im not really gonna proclaim about, so yeah. studied alot this week like seriously. kinda proud of myself for that actually, although.. soccer was still a distraction. hahaha. crapped alot with nic. as in serious crap. hahaha. we both dudes have alot in common. not gay, just have alot in common. ahahah.

ahhhh, i guess i can do nothing but wait it out and pray i guess. this will pass, ill just smile about it in the future. and think that its all super ridiculous.

2008-09-12T21:21:00.002+08:00

faber drive - when im with you

watch the video guys! really sad. kinda emo. but still an extremely nice song. (:

when im with you.

2008-09-12T19:49:00.002+08:00

its been a "notsogood" week for me. im in the danger zone to retain and i tell you the feeling sucks like shit. but i know ill past it. no matter what. its just god's inspiration that keeps driving me forward. well at least the positive side is that im okay with my one of my most special friend already. we're talking already. like finally, i really missed it. we're we crap and say extremely lame jokes. but still get to laugh about cos its SUPER lame. haha. i missed alotta things while i was "gone" and vice-versa. i've been really disappointed by a few things too. seriously. but hey, you guys know me. im STRONG. haha. i've gone through so much already.

well, i guess i've got nothing much to say anymore. (:

Begging, to hear your voice
Tell me you love me too

ps: you are so beautiful

sigh

2008-08-29T20:22:00.002+08:00

helloo. well, its seems like it didnt take long for my next entry huh? haha. nothing much has been happening lately honestly. just one major thing that happened. lets just say that its alr the 5th time something happened. where i feel so extremely lonely inside. my grandparents are here, they dont turn out to be so bad. but my grandma seldom smiles. so yeah.. but asides from that, its cool. performed just now during the concert. and went back to my primary school. BORING. dang, i just wasted my time honestly.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, i just watched the movie called "hot chick" featuring rob shneider as "hot chick" the movie was really nice. mix of romance and comedy. i watched it 3 times in a row. haha. you should watch. again and again. haha.

well, i guess that's it. just gonna let god be the answer to all the questions in my head. PRAISE GOD. adios!

BACK AT ONE

2008-08-23T20:05:00.003+08:00

woah. its been like forever since i last wrote an entry. haha. well, really sorry cos i was really really lazy. haha. anyway, quite a few had been happening lately, like the AES talent time, then followed by the cluster west 6 idol. those are the good things. but there are rather not soo good things too. homeworks have been piling up and its SUPER irritating. lol? my fault.

went to CHRIS DE SILVA's concert yesterday. was really really nice and inspirational. went nuts on the bus, on the way home. haha. when i say nuts, im serious. AS IN CRAZY NUTS. haha. especially kevin and oliver. haha. jokers. missed that kind of fun. where you have nothing to worry about. ): even though we were like getting risked of being summoned by the police cos we we're like at the highway. haha.

wow, i cant believe i got nothing more to say. haha. till next time i guess. which can be another forever. haha. BYEE! ((:

so much for " hard to let go" huh?

dammit.

2008-07-13T18:46:00.001+08:00

=( =( =(

call me emo, whatever. i just dont know what to feel anymore..
oh god, help me..

the look

2008-07-11T20:40:00.002+08:00

life can be really unfair sometimes.. sometimes, you fell like the world is just against you. but heck, i dont really care about it. i wont lie. i am PISSED and HURT. about little little things? i dont know. but to me, it seemed so heavy to take in. im just so disappointed of how things are going now. and yes, i HATE it. there is nothing i can do now really, except take it in and accept it. ill be okay, with GOD's help, nothing is impossible.. (: so im just gonna smile now and just go on in life.

i dont know what's going on. i dont know whether she is ignoring what the hell is happening or she is just fucking blind. i talked to that girl just a night before and i thought i could TRUST that girl. well, i dont know how to say just how much i regretted telling her anything. wow, she still wonders why people dont trust her? that's extremely puzzling. i might have talked to her. until i found out something. its unbelievable you know? seriously. how a bestfriend can fuck you up and just hurt you just like that? sigh.. whatever

ill just wait for the other bullshit that's gonna come my way.. my heart's ready to take the pain.

please.. no more sacrifices. ):

do you believe in angels?

2008-07-05T18:03:00.003+08:00

PHOTOS TIME! (:

haha, retarded, i know. its just some photos my aunt edited. haha. i found it cute.. so yeah just decided to post and share. (: till next time i guess.. kinda lazy to actually blog. haha.

2008-06-22T17:23:00.002+08:00

New blog song. its "why" by filipino, international RnB sensation, BILLY CRAWFORD. hope ya'll like it! haha. i took out the old one because it became a 30 second preview. so yeah.

sometimes, surprises do hurt too.

2008-06-21T23:02:00.003+08:00

looks like there's only 2 more days till the start school again. haha. its a mix of a happy and a mix of sad. as you know, i dont normally blog. i only blog if something different happens and shit. well, nothing really happened this time. its just that i found out something really really surprising and something that really hurt me. im not really gonna go into detail into it. but just a brief story of it. okay okay, lets just say that there is something i found out that completely conviced me to move on. and maybe to give up. i dont really know what to do right now. cos im just so disappointed and confused. love can really play jokes on you sometimes. jokes that might not be funny. before, when everybody persuaded me to love. i did, cos they really told me ALOT of positive things. i hate to think this way but everbody did make me hope so high. and now, im stuck in this circle, i cant seem to move on. even though i was only with her a month or so, it felt so.. different. honestly, like nothing i've ever felt before. i wont lie. i swear i loved that girl. i loved her even though i knew i was gonna go through an extremely hard time. but that never stopped me. okay fine, i know she's going through an even harder time there, having a new home, new friends, i know its not easy. and i understand every single reason of why she let me go. but its not easy for me too.. she doesnt know what i went through. well you know, i dont think it matters, cos she wants to forget.

i dont know if im asking for much.. all i need is a chance. to explain myself. to explain everything that hurt. im not what she thinks i am. i can do anything to prove that i did love her. im not a bad person. i know i may look like i am. but im not.. i dont know what else i can say to prove that. IM NOT.

another girl, told me to forget too, to move on. maybe i should. maybe i should forget. maybe i shouldn't hope anymore.. just maybe.

ps: im sorry for being this emotional. im sorry if i irritated anyone in this post. i just wanted to set things straight.

she's beautiful

2008-06-19T21:51:00.003+08:00

haha. wow wow wow.. looks like the holidays is gonna be over soon now huh? altough i did quite a number of work.. i dont think its enough!! haha. oh well.. might as well enjoy the remaining of my holidays. im freaking bored now. seriously. thats why im blogging. lol, anyway. nothing much has been happening lately in my life. its just the past that keep "passing" by once in a while. but ill get over it. i know i will. its hard, YES. but i know ill go through it. just gotta keep my mind of the things. altough i wish i had more help from the big guy up there. but i know everything happens for a reason. and i know that he wants this to happenin now. i realise something now though. everthing seems more quiet than before. i dont really laugh that hard anymore.(okay maybe when kyle slept over only we had a crazy slumber party). AND i still gotta prepare myself for the re-opening of the school. not only from my studies but i gotta prepare myself emotionally too. its defintely not gonna be an easy journey to the place called "moved on".

okay okay, some other stuff now. i dont really think that im gonna blog tmr so im gonna say what im gonna say. a HAPPY HAPPY 15th birthday to REGINA GORADA. DALAGA NA YUNG BATA!! haha. joke. im gonna be the first person she sees!! hahaha.

ps: maybe its just time to go for now. siguro wag ko na ipipilit..

adios amigos! (:

new blog song

2008-06-05T16:18:00.002+08:00

yeap. new blog song. i kinda just found out about that song today but it sounded really nice. AND the lyrics of the song hit me. for some reason i dont know why. haha. well, hope you like it just like i do! oh, and the singers is from jonasbrothers. he's name is nicholas jonas. this was his song when he was still young. sounds like a girl! haha. listen to the lyrics. and the tune is kinda catchy too.

PS: to SOME ppl out there, this song is not EMO. haha.

johnmari

breaking the silence..

2008-06-03T18:43:00.004+08:00

hey, havent been blogging lately huh? well, that's cos nothing much has been going on. until today.. ive been really confused about alot of things.. not really gonna go into detail but its just something ive been dwelling on for quite some time. to cut things short. something happened that i must be able to move on from. a girl and i just ended our relationship of being together. at first i really didnt want to but things have become so complicated that i dont know what to do.. i was just hurting her all over and over again and i really hated that. what's more, i was just to scared to even make a move. you say it, im a coward whatever, but i just didnt know what to do.. but eventually, it happened. officially, we both decided that we cannot continue this.. we both knew that it wont go anywhere. so as much as it hurts, i know im gonna be okay.. and i hope that she would too. i know i dnt deserve a girl like her.. ill move on to be a better person.. with the help of god, nothing is impossible. so i thank you for everything that you gave me.. and you'll always be my sweet memory.. damnn.. im gonna hate the silence in the nights.. so i guess ill end my post here.. till next time.

joem.

always be my baby..

2008-05-17T12:16:00.002+08:00

its been quite a while now huh? never been posting ever since. well, been having our mid-years, so yeah.. times had been great really. been really happy and peaceful. haha. but didnt do too well in my results. passed english & history, but screwed physics, (A)maths & CLB. not that i care about CLB but yeah whatever. haha. just saying. well, still got hope for 2 more subjects, (E)maths and chemistry. and yeah social studies. but i know i already screwed SS. haha. but hey, im still happy? i dont really care, expect i know that i need to buck up next term. i know that whatever im experiencing or what results im getting now, i know that the lord wants me to get this kind of results. all i know is that i already did my best. i studied and i tried.

pish posh, enough about studies! haha. on the last day of examinations, kat, reg and i went to cineleisure to watch a movie. haha. we watch over her dead body! haha. trust me it was hilarious. hahaha. "you dirty little girl!" haha. those quotes were one of the funny ones. holidays are coming and i cant wait! haha. well, to all my peeps out there who got their results, dont be too disappointed about it. just chill! haha. so i guess ill end this post. (:

john mari

the life you dont live is still lost..

2008-04-19T12:30:00.000+08:00

hey hey hey.. its been quite some time now eh? haha. well, as you guys know.. my birthday was on the 8th april. and what a day that was. surprises here surprises there. from the morning there was suprises, until i went to bed there were still suprises. phew.. probably one of my best birthdays. i can say that i was.. happy. (:

mid-years is coming up very soon and i am EXTREMELY nervous about it. i dont wanna go back to N(A). i've worked too hard for that.. so as it goes. NO MORE SLACKING! haha. well, life's been very quiet lately. doesn't feel any different being 15. haha. but honestly? i prefer it this way. quiet, peaceful. rather than noisy and messy, with all the comotion and problems. i just thank the lord so much that i can just go out of my house and think of what i can do to use my day to the fullest extent than to worry about how my day's gonna end. sighh.. its such a nice feeling. (:

well, anyways, i hope all my peeps out there,(esp A.H.) can figure out their problems and solve as soon as possible. you guys are always in my prayers. (: so till here. see ya guys around!

with love,
BabyJ

time to heal..

2008-04-06T17:37:00.010+08:00

hahahaha. i have NO idea what the heck this is. i just found it in my com. NO idea how it ended up there. haha( kylie kyle, i have no i dea when or where? haha. lost and found)
and here we go. haha. the most retro pic i found. check out aly(red lips) and kyle!(SHO BAO ahaha) (2005, northvale. lost and found)

before cac beach party. moses was singing and mariel was still here.(mrt station, 2006, lost and found)

well? need i to say more? H.T.J.M. i miss you guys.(cck park, 2006, lost and found)

this one's not really lost and found. its last year. crush ni reg to! haha(aljunied, 2007, lost and found)
been quite awhile since i last blogged. but im not gonna blog now either. lol, hmmm.. since regina posted lost and found pictures, here's a few of my lost and found ones.

watching the world go by..

2008-03-15T14:19:00.002+08:00

hey hey! haha. well, as you can see.. i've been feeling much better now. everything is starting to slowly fall back into place. more or less. i know everything would be stable again. but i have one problem though. i havent even started doing my homework! haha. gotta stop slacking already. i gotta keep reminding myself that im in express already!

well, monday went to easter skit practice, retarded. tuesday was the same, also retarded. and wednesday i went to town. and watched HORTON. haha. quite a nice movie and a nice cinema house too.(LIDO) hehe. thursday and friday was at singapore poly the whole day! but kinda cool cos we're making ASPIRIN, painkillers. so yeah. haha im starting to like CHEMISTRY. hahaha. and yes, today is break day! hahahaha. tmr MUST work already. haha. well, i guess thats all? see you guys in school.

jmmp.

this is our song..

2008-03-08T19:24:00.008+08:00

these two are my retarded pare koys! SERIOUSLY

haha. second post of the day! only ONE reason why. and that is BORRRRREEED. EXTREMELY. well, feeling like.. hmmm.. a mixed actually. its ALOT of HAPPY and a little of tired. sighh.. i feel like time passes so slowly. still adapting to life in express. its hard yes. but i know i can do it. hardly ever passed a test. and its scaring me. but all i know now is i feel much better compared to before. im more open and stable i can say. (:

inspiration is the word. your inspiration keeps me going. like always.. ((:
so i guess here are some of my old pictures. haha. random, random.

johnmaripecson.

the best you never had..

2008-03-08T16:20:00.002+08:00

its been a crazy crazy week for me.. lots of ups and downs. and there is alot of things that changed too. lets just put it this way, something i thought was long gone, isnt really gone after all. sighh.. more or less, im happy. VERY happy in fact. altough thoughts of everything come to my mind and pinches my heart once in a while, i've learned to control it.. (:

got nothing much to say actually. except im finally stable after i dont know how many weeks. so with nothing more to say, i end yet another post of mine. (:

ps: sana totoo na to ha.

(my fear doesnt keep me from what my heart beats for)

joem pecson.

somethings just got to end before something else begins.

2008-03-02T17:20:00.004+08:00

supp guys.. just decided to make another post cos im soo bored now and ive got nothing to do. okay.. first things first.. i have so much emotions that i just wanna let out. ive got homework but im lazy to do.. ive got school but im lazy to go.. i dont know what to do in my life now anymore.. but i know this feeling's temporary only..(those who i told why only knows why im like this)

sorry guys, i dont mean to be so emotional but i seriously dont know what to do anymore. im getting hurt so badly but i still choose to stay.. sana nga nakikita nya to.. nahihirapan na talaga ako. pero wala akong magagawa.. i pray this ends soon enough. cos if anything happens today, im leaving.. i swear.

well i guess from that, i end another emotional post of mine.

ps: dont tell me you love me if your heart doesnt say anything..

alam mo mahal kita,
johnmarimagpantaypecson (:

trying to hide the pain.

2008-03-01T13:52:00.003+08:00

hey hey hey.
didnt blog for quite sometime eh. yeah.. been rather busy these days. just came back from camp and i have no voice. camp was fun. especially second night. YA. hahaha. didnt sleep at all. only had a power nap. lol.

there were other things that happened in camp too. some unpleasant ones. some that really hurt. but i guess thats life. sometimes, things happen that hurt you and make you fall so hard.. that it makes you just wanna die. but no.. from what i learned, after that pain, something even more beautiful comes behind it. thats how god works..

and to my pare koy "LECHON" i hope you'll be okay man. just pray your heart out.. surrender all your pain to him. maybe he just wants you to do that. miracles can happen dude. if you believe. (:

so with that, i guess i end another post of mine. sorry there's no photos. lazy to put kasi. lol

, jmmp

bearing the pain. (almost there)

2008-02-22T23:17:00.003+08:00

hey hey. (:
sorry, cos i've decided to blog only once a week or twice a month.. so yeah. well nothing happened that much actually. just all the adapting to do. haha.. life's been better.. improved a little bit. even though the pain's still lingering around, its okay. i know that ill be fine. kaya ko to! haha and ill be strong. hehe..

here's some photos as i promised! hahaha. sorry for the emotional approach to the photos haha. but yeah.. just find it nice and random. hahaha. ((:

messy? yes! but like i said! its my first time. so yeah.. bear with me.
ps: REG!!! I NEED YOUR HELP! LOL.

singing my heart out.

2008-02-17T18:33:00.002+08:00

hey hey, looks like im getting a hang of this blog thingy already! haha. lol
firstly, my thanks to RMSG for arranging my blog skin and stuff. i know the hearts are kinda gay or something. but at least is green? haha. well actually, i liked my previous skin but it was messy as SOMEBODY (lol) didnt know how to arrange things nicely.

well, i guess i've been fine lately, been trying to divert my attention to other things i guess. things changed ever since valentines day.. ive been lonely and quiet. but no worries, i know ill be fine. i have learned alot these few days. ive learned to accept things i find so hard to, ive learned to GO when im asked to.. to accept that no matter what is happening right now, i know there is some reason behind it. i know im being SO emotional right now. but its just the pain that overcomes me when i think about things. things that hurt me so much.. ):

ill smile again. someday, somehow.

p/s: i still know 40 ways to tell you "i love you"

haha, random shit. but its nothing much.. trust me. its really NOTHING.

pps: photos will come next post,
I THINK.
johnmari.

hellooo, goodbye

2008-02-17T18:25:00.001+08:00

haha, regina here. nothing bettter to do so yeah haha.

bye! - RMSG

my gosh my gosh..

2008-02-16T14:01:00.000+08:00

hey hey! i finally made a second post. haha. well, i've nothing much to say. except, valentines day had been shit to me this year. sighh, first, i found out something i NEVER expected.. then just today, i received something online saying that i am OFFICIALLY single. ( those out there would know just what this means )

well, i guess love have been harsh on me lately. i think its just karma or something. ill understand what god is putting me through now. its very painful, very sad and very unexpected. i feel like shit and i feel like breaking down everyday. but that cant do. i still have a future to think about and im positive about that.

sorry my blog is messed up guys, but like i said, this is my first time making a blog. photos gonna come on my next post.

p/s: my thanks to kat O, regina, katherine, hilary, john thomas and JESUS CHRIST. for being there for me at this low point of my life.

happy belated valentines to all. ((:
johnmarimagpantaypecson.

Done!

2008-02-13T23:55:00.001+08:00

It's done!
But I just can't seem to remove the horizontal scrollbar on the left panel.
And I can't get the date to appear, it appeared the first few times, then it stopped appearing.
Oh well, at least the picture you wanted gone, is gone.

Enjoy (:
HDTLY.

im trying again. lol

2008-02-13T21:57:00.000+08:00

hello hello world! haha
this is like my first post! haha and i have no idea when im gonna blog again. my previous blog had only one post and it died. haha. lets just pray hard that my blog will come ALIVE! haha..

anyways, here i am.. 1 week has passed and im getting used to the way things go already.. haha. express life is so much harder.

guess thats all?.. lol.

bye, JMMP